Blog: Max Dawson
December 5, 2016
For today’s musing you need to know what I wrote last Thursday: “A Tale of Two Diaries.” If you did not read that one, go back and look at Thursday’s email. It was a short story about John and Marsha, and what they wrote in their diaries. (Actually, most men don’t have a diary; and fewer women have diaries today than ever before. But the little story still works.)
John and Marsha are at dinner. John is quiet. Marsha is trying to guess what is wrong. By the end of the story, Marsha is convinced that John has another woman. But the issue with John is just that he is preoccupied over his boat. It won’t start. That’s what he thought about the whole evening. The boat. Not another woman. And not his wife!
I concluded last Thursday’s story by pointing out that husbands and wives often process information very differently.
But, then, I asked, “What do you think?” What suggestions would you give to our fictitious couple? What could have been done differently? Below are some comments from our readers.
THE FINAL WORD
V.A. (a woman) suggested it was all about communication.
Advice to Marsha: First of all, don’t assume anything. Ask him how was his day? Tell him you really enjoyed shopping with the girls, but was glad to have dinner with him even though you were a little late. “I love our special times together.”
Advice to John: Tell her, “I wanted to go out on the boat today, but I couldn’t get it running, something wrong with the starter! I wanted to surprise you and take you for an evening under the stars with dinner on the lake–just because I love you!”
J.C. (a man) had some similar thoughts, though he is less diplomatic.
To John: “Get off your duff and simply say, ‘I’m so frustrated! The crazy boat won’t start! I just can’t figure it out!'” It’s called communication, John! A wife, and hopefully, your best friend needs and deserves this.
To Marsha: “Now Marsha, please don’t jump to an improper conclusion; give him time; he’s a work in progress. He may come around in time and wake up to his neglect for your feelings. But also, John may need to be hit by a 2×4 to be brought into focus; hopefully something lighter will to the trick.
To John again: “Come on John, wake up!”
Problem solved, feelings shared and life goes on.
Feelings. Communication. They are important in marriage. Both husband and wife in the scenario described could have done better. mixed in with some choice verses from Proverbs could solve a lot of these kinds of problems.
Blessings to you, my dear friends,
–Max